Sledgehammer
by Wonder and Ashes
Summary: A rewrite of "Crush", in which Drusilla doesn't come alone and things end up going very differently...


**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Story Notes**: Inspired by one of my favourite scenes from _Lucifer_ season 4, which can be found on YouTube. Just type in "Lucifer 4x02 axe".

* * *

_If you could feel my heart beat now _

_it would hit you like a sledgehammer…_

~ _Sledgehammer_ by Fifth Harmony

* * *

I'm all but ready to proclaim this day Buffy's Terribly, Horribly, Not Good, Very Bad Day.

First there was finding out that Spike has…weird feelings for me. At least, he _thinks_ he has them, because he doesn't have a soul, so he can't love. Then he had to go and take me out on that stupid Slay Date and proclaim said feelings to me. I was _so_ outta there.

Then when I tried to tell my family what had happened, Dawn actually got angry at me. Because I broke Spike's heart and probably made him cry. _She_ was mad at _me_ for not taking the evil vampire's feelings into consideration. Then Mom had to go and imply that maybe I'd led Spike on somehow (because I would _totally_ make Spike think we had a shot, apparently), and _then_ when I called Willow, she said she couldn't come over to perform the disinvite spell until tomorrow morning. Meaning Spike had free roam of the house until then.

And _then_, when I decided to go and tell Spike that there was absolutely no way in hell he and I were _ever_ gonna be a thing, I ended up walking in on a Whirlwind reunion tour. Including Angel.

Seriously, does he really not know how phones work? I don't care that Darla got resurrected by evil lawyers (I thought all lawyers were evil?), and I don't care that Drusilla vamped her again. But I _do_ care when he tells me to stay out of it. Normally I'd let him deal with his own problems, but only so long as his problems stay in _his_ city. When they come into _my_ town, that makes them my problems, too. Yet he thought he could waltz right on in and _not_ tell me he's here, or even give me a warning that a vamp who tried to kill my mother is back in town.

It's worse than when he did it on Thanksgiving. I'm the goddamn Slayer, and he treats me like an incompetent little girl who turns into a weepy mess every time she sees her ex. I sent him to freaking _Hell_! I can stand seeing him for a couple of hours. It's times like this when I wonder if he even loves me at all.

Then, _then_, to add a cherry on top of the crappy cake, Drusilla revealed that she and Darla came for Spike. So he could help them turn Angel into Angelus.

Good. That gives me an excuse to stake him.

Now we're fighting. I'm taking pleasure in repeatedly punching Darla in the face, while Angel is trying to get Drusilla under control. Spike is just lounging in the corner, watching, like this is the greatest show he's ever seen in his life. He really needs a hobby. Maybe the lack of one is why he's developed these stupid feelings for me?

Darla spits out an insult about my mother, and I knock her out. Serves the bitch right.

With Darla down and Angel keeping Drusilla busy, I whirl on Spike. "I'll turn you into so much dust, they'll be finding specks of you for _weeks_!"

He holds up his hands innocently. Yeah, because Spike and 'innocent' go _so_ well together. "I wasn't planning on going with them! All I did was hear them out. You think I'd wanna go back to _them_? I was the laughing stock; the whipping boy. When they got bored, they played a little game called 'Kick the Spike'. I know you're familiar with it. You play it all the time whenever you're not ripping my un-beating heart out."

This again? He thinks now is a good time to bring up his…_feelings_ for me? "Spike, whatever it is you think you feel for me…it's not real, because you don't have a soul! There is no 'you and I', and there never will be!"

"BUFFY!"

It happens so fast. One second he's rolling his eyes, and the next those same eyes go wide as saucers as he screams my name. He surges forwards and pushes me to the floor, and half a second later he cries out in pain. Well, of course the chip fired. What else did he think was gonna happen after pushing me over?

I roll over to tell him this, but my words die in my throat.

Spike is leaning against the wall of his crypt with a stake sticking out of his chest.

My eyes widen. There's so much blood…

"Dammit, Spike!" Darla's on her feet again. "Why the hell did you push her out of the way?! What's _wrong_ with you?!"

It hits me like a sledgehammer. Spike pushed me because Darla threw a stake at me. And while it hit him below the heart, if it had hit its real target, it would have gone through my back and directly into mine.

He saved me. _Spike_ saved me.

"Sod off, bitch," he snarls at Darla.

There's another stake in her hand, and why does Spike have so many stakes lying around his crypt? "I should have killed you the second Drusilla dragged your idiotic corpse through the door." She stalks towards him.

I leap to my feet and punch her in the face. She drops her stake, and I snatch it up off the floor and point it at her. "How about you get out my town, or I'll make sure your second dusting sticks this time."

She growls, but she's not stupid. She knows she's outmatched. Before I can act, she turns and flees from the crypt. Angel, who's still pinning Drusilla down, abandons his Childe in favour of his Sire and takes off after her.

Drusilla climbs to her feet. "My poor Spike…"

I hold my stake ready. "Don't get any closer," I warn.

"So lost." She actually looks upset. "Even I can't help you now." Without a second glance, she turns and walks out the open door, disappearing into the night.

Maybe I should go after her, but Spike's hurt. And Drusilla is Angel's problem; he brought his problems to my town, so he can take them back to LA with him.

I turn back to Spike. There's more blood. "Oh my god." I drop the stake.

"Don't worry your pretty little head, pet," he says. "I've had worse than this. From _you_, if I recall. Was in that wheelchair for weeks."

That was back in high school, when I dropped an organ on his head. He got hurt trying to save Drusilla, the woman he loved.

Now he's hurt after saving me. The woman he says he loves.

I kneel beside him and grip the stake. "I'm gonna pull this out, OK?"

"Go for it. Got bandages lying around here somewhere." He closes his eyes. I pull the stake out, and he grits his teeth to stop from yelling in pain.

He got hurt saving me.

I can't see any bandages, but I find one of his t-shirts. I hold it against the wound, and only then does its location fully sink in. "She nearly got your heart."

"Thought she was gonna hit it, for a moment there," he says.

He's serious. I meet his gaze, his blue eyes keeping me grounded as the world around me starts to spin. "You knew it would hit you if you pushed me."

He nods. "Yeah."

"You knew…it might hit your heart and kill you."

"Yeah."

"…And you still pushed me out the way."

"Yeah."

I swallow. "Why?"

His gaze doesn't waver. "You know why."

I want to deny it. I want to scream at him that his feelings aren't real, but I can't. Not in the face of something like this. He pushed me out the way and took a hit meant for me, fully prepared to end his own life to save mine.

In that moment, in his mind, my life was more important than his. And if that isn't love, I don't know what is.

There are tears in my eyes as I bring my hand up to cover my mouth. He loves me, and he saved me after I'd stomped all over his heart, slaying it into tiny little pieces.

"Hey, don't cry now, pet." He reaches out and wipes away a tear with his thumb. "Bit of blood, and I'll be right as rain again. Can't get rid of me that easily."

I laugh, but it sounds like a broken sob. I sniff and use my sleeve to wipe the remaining tears away. God, I never thought I'd be crying over _Spike_, of all people. But I guess stranger things have happened on the Hellmouth.

The crypt is silent and empty. There's no sign of anyone returning, not even Angel. For the first time in my life, I don't want him to come back.

"Come on." I get to my feet and help Spike stand up. "I'm taking you home."

He looks at me in surprise. "Home?"

"I'm not leaving you here where Drusilla and Darla can get to you," I explain. "And I don't trust Angel to let you live. Also, I really don't think Harmony would make a good nursemaid." I move his arm around my shoulder and let him lean on me.

"Harm's long gone. The Bitch Queen ran her out."

Good riddance. "Still, you'll heal better at my house where nothing can get you."

He looks heavenward. "Christ, she dusted me…"

I roll my eyes. "Oh, don't be such a drama queen. She didn't dust you. I'd be a pretty crappy person if I left you here with a hole in your chest after you saved my life."

Spike winces as we start walking. "You don't owe me anything, Buffy."

"I _want_ to do this. Also, if you come home with me, Mom will give you hot chocolate to make you feel better."

He perks up. "Does she have those little marshmallows?"

I smile. Putting aside Spike's injury, maybe this isn't such a bad day, after all.


End file.
